Homework, Heifers, and Hotties

Since I do not yet have children of my own, I often feel like my junior high students are "my kids." However, I do often pray that my own children do not act like some of my students. Since the new semester began, there have been some frustrating and funny experiences. Here are the highlights:

First of all, what is it with kids who don't do their homework? I design homework assignments that should take no longer than 20-30 minutes, yet I still have about 5-7 students in a class of 25 who are the only ones who turn in last night's homework. I have had to give detentions and office referrals for not turning in homework! To the good kids - not the behavior problems! I have become an expert at using our school's call system. I check off the names of certain students, record a message, and have the computer do all of the calling. We have also had the talk about how next year at high school, their teachers will not accept late work or provide the courtesy of calling home if they don't turn in their work. This generation seems to have completely lost sight of the importance of responsibility! Please excuse my griping, but I have lost my patience with this lazy group of ninth graders! On the bright side, I have had some students come in for tutorials every day after school so they don't get in trouble with their parents for not completing their homework. At least my phone calls are working!

On a lighter note, the other day in class, one of my students raised his hand to ask me a question, and this is what he said:

"Mrs. HEIFER, . . . "

And I said: "Excuse me! Is this a secret nickname that I don't know about?"

"Oh no, Mrs. Helf! I don't know where that came from. I'm so sorry!"

Another student spoke up and said: "Mrs. Helf, I can't believe he said that - that's just wrong. You are a very beautiful young lady, a very beautiful young lady."

So, I said: "Thank you, that's enough - let's move on."

He repeated himself again (I don't think I need to type it again - I started to get embarassed, because he kept saying it over and over again) and told me: "My friend _________ (a seventh grade student in one of my classes) thinks you're hot."

So, during seventh period, I simply told that seventh grader that I knew something really embarassing about him, and if he didn't behave, I was going to tell the whole class! (I would never really tell the whole class - I just like the power!)

Hope this story brightens your day like it did mine! At least it made me less offended about the "heifer" mistake!

In case you didn't know this: a heifer is a young cow over one year old that has not produced a calf (I had to look it up, because it is not a part of my usual vocabulary). At least it isn't an old fat and lazy female cow!